When we have unresolved grief in our hearts.. (hint- we all most likely do!), holidays filled with family functions, traditions, and memories have a way of magnifying feelings we have been able to somewhat successfully avoid feeling throughout the year.
You know the ones…feelings of failure, rejection, bitterness, resentment, anger, loneliness, abandonment, heartbreak. Those feelings that must be medicated or somehow diminished for us to function?
Yep. These are all indicators of unresolved grief and the great news is there is a solution that doesn’t involve a bottle or a prescription.
The Grief Recovery Method is dedicated to helping people discover and complete what was left emotionally unfinished by a death, divorce, or other loss. In the hopes of helping both grieving people and the friends and family who love them, here are some holiday tips that give practical and emotionally helpful guidance.
Holiday Grief Tips
- Don’t isolate yourself. It’s normal and natural to feel lost and alone―but don’t isolate―even if you have to force yourself to be with people and participate in normal activities.
- Don’t get too busy—avoid hyperactivity. Be careful not to get too busy. Being super active just distracts you, it doesn’t really help you deal with your broken heart.
- Don’t misuse food or alcohol to cover up or push down your feelings. As children, when we were sad about something, we were often told, “Don’t feel bad. Here have a cookie, you’ll feel better.” The cookie doesn’t make the child feel better, it makes the child feel different and the real cause of the sadness is not addressed. When we get older, alcohol and drugs are used for the same wrong reasons―to mask feelings of sadness.
- Talk about your feelings, but don’t expect a quick fix. It’s essential to have someone you trust to talk to about your memories and the feelings they evoke. Ask your friend to just listen to you and not fix you. You’re sad, not broken, and you just need to be heard.
- While it’s important to talk about your feelings, don’t dwell on them. Telling the same sad story over and over is not helpful―in fact, it can actually establish and cement a relationship to your pain. It’s better to just make a simple statement of how you feel in the moment. For example, say, “I just had a sad feeling of missing him.”
- Time doesn’t heal—actions do. The myth that time heals a broken heart is just that…a myth. Time can’t heal a broken heart any more than waiting by the roadside with your car can fix a flat tire. Time just goes by. It’s the actions you take within time that can help you feel better.
If you, or anyone you know, could benefit from a Grief Recovery Workshop,
please join us for a FREE Grief Recovery Informational meeting.
Monday, January 7th, 2019
Click here for more information.
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