I love that I can connect with and communicate with people from all the different chapters of my life through the power of Facebook. I can have a pulse on milestones in my friends lives and sometimes their daily journey… depending on who shows up in my news feed anyway 🙂
People love to share their thoughts and feelings about all aspects of their life.
Sometimes those include the sad things.
The devastating things.
There is one thing we are all guaranteed, we will experience loss and grief in this life. And grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss.
Grievers want and need to be heard.
So, it makes perfect sense that we would post sad, painful experiences and feelings on Facebook.
Here’s some insight from the Grief Recovery Method, “When someone posts on Facebook about a death, break up, or any other loss, it opens the door for helpful communication in talking about grief. When people share openly and honestly about their feelings it shows others that feelings are normal and might give someone else the courage to share about their own losses.”
So what is the best thing you can say or do when people post about their grief on Facebook?
- Acknowledge the loss by “liking” their post
If you are unable to pick up the phone to call your grieving friend, at least acknowledge their post by clicking the “like” button on Facebook. This let’s the griever know they were heard.
- Leave a comment
Write something such as, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through” or “I’m so sorry”.
Be careful not to fall into the trap of leaving intellectual statements like, “Don’t feel bad, his suffering is over” or “She’s in a better place”.
Those comments might be intellectually true, but won’t help your grieving friends feel better. Grief is emotional, it’s not intellectual. Intellectual statements have a way of making the grieving person feel worse!
If you can, always pick up the phone and call your friend who is grieving. Human interaction is always more helpful than typing, texting, or email. Ask the griever what led up to the loss, and then listen to their response.
- Follow up
Grievers get a lot of attention following a loss, but people tend to forget after a few weeks. Be sure to give them a call or invite them to coffee to see how they feel.
(compliments of the Grief Recovery Method)
Listening is the best thing you can do for someone who is grieving.
Acknowledgement without judgement is like a salve to an open wound.
Learn more about the tools of surviving loss and discover how to truly grieve by checking out The Grief Recovery Method. That is what we do and what we teach at Freedom From Grief.
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